I'm Not that Girl
by snarkysweetness
Summary: The one thing that no woman wants to have to do but most eventually have to deal with, and of course, it's happening to Athena McGonagall, of all people. *OC Character Piece*


**Title: **I'm Not that Girl **  
Author: **LJ: SnarkySweetness; FF net: SchwartzyLogainne **  
Characters/Pairings: **Athena McGonagall; mentions to Charlie/Athena. **  
Rating: **PG-13. **  
Warnings: **None.**  
When: **A year and a half Post-DH. *The Epilogue never happened, it is made of evil***  
Summary: **The one thing that no woman wants to have to do but most eventually have to deal with, and of course, it's happening to Athena McGonagall, of all people. **  
Disclaimer: **Jo owns the 'verse, but I own Athena McGonagall. She be my brain child. **  
Author's Note: **I love character torture.

Her fingers twitched, eager and urgent to reach out and grab her future, not caring that it took time to settle. She grabbed her wrist with her free hand, letting it shake there for a moment before pulling it back quickly, crossing her arms and looking away with a huff, her foot now tapping impatiently. She hated having to wait on this, her entire life was on the line and she had no control over it anymore because she'd obviously lost control at some point to have gotten here.

"Don't look at me like that, Marilyn, you have no right to judge me."

Marilyn looked up at her, confused, before meowing and leaving the bathroom, her tail swishing behind her. Waiting for the small hourglass to finish was like a little death.

Athena sighed. She was talking to the damn cat again; Merlin, she needed help. She stood, biting her thumb as she paced, back and forth, ringing her hands as she did so. She hated feeling like this; Athena didn't often worry, especially not for herself, if she did, it was always for others. She didn't like being unsure or frightened; she was a bad ass, female Auror, who could lay any of the boys flat out on their backs before they could blink; she was too hardcore for this gnawing fear and sickness.

She didn't know if she was ready for this yet; she hadn't thought about it, being a lead Auror was dangerous business, it wouldn't be fair to her family for her to keep up with her career the way she did, but she didn't want to give it up; not yet, not for a very long time.

Though, it couldn't be all bad, could it? She could handle it all, she'd have to tone down taking on all of the dangerous cases, but she could do both. She wouldn't be alone, either. No matter how unplanned, Charlie would never abandon her.

Athena caught the last grains of sand falling through the glass and hitched in a breath; it was the moment of truth.

As her fingers brushed the small stick, she froze. Could she really do this? Just because her mother had done it didn't mean she could do it. What if something happened with one of the dragons and Charlie-she swallowed hard, imagining a dragon getting loose and charring him before eating him or something. Her job was dangerous as well; would it put any child of hers in danger?

Then again, if she were to take a job running things, wrapped up all of her cases, stopped doing field work, she could take a few years, then go back, when her child was old enough for Athena to not have to spend every waking moment wondering if he or she was in some sort of danger. Athena knew how deep the love of a mother and child could run, was she ready for that kind of love?

_Yes._

The small voice in her head sounded so sure, so unafraid. The voice was right, why was someone who's dedicated her life to putting hers on the line afraid of a tiny, messy, ball of cuddly flesh? As terrifying as the idea was, she could handle it just fine; lesser women had done as much.

Besides, any child of hers would be a resilient little thing, sure to be ten times worse than she had been with her own mother. Athena smiled, picturing the little round face, red curls, and big, blue eyes, like Charlie's. Merlin… she was in love already, how mental was that?

Athena reached out and took the test in her fist, ready to know. She took in a deep breath and looked down, all of the air leaving her body. Well, hadn't this been what she'd wanted? Why did she feel slightly ill?

She tossed the negative test into the trash, looking at herself in the mirror for a long moment. "It isn't your time, McG, you knew that. Can't get upset over something that you know you're not ready for yet. Nab a few more Death Eaters… then maybe." She whispered to herself.

_Maybe_… that was all she would ever promise herself. She held no expectations in this life except to work her arse off, which she could keep doing until something forced her to change. After all, she wasn't _that_ girl, the girl with the baby and the yard and working to make some man happy, no; she was the girl with the career.

She liked who she was; so she wasn't changing, not until she was forced to.


End file.
